Here's an example of how I helped a family with a school refusal problem
Adam (not his real name) was referred to me by his school. He was a pupil in year 9. He'd had a poor attendance record in years 7 and 8 but in year 9 had hardly been in to school at all. His mother reported how popular he was at school and how his friends had organised a big surprise party for his last birthday. This did not sound like a case of bullying which is often the cause of school refusal.When I first saw Adam he complained of panic attacks, nausea and travel sickness although he traveled to school by train. When he got there he would go straight to the sick room and lie there for as long as possible feeling extremely anxious about facing the day.
The GP had said if he went into school on no account was he to be sent home no matter how ill he said he felt. The result was he didn't go in at all!
I proposed to Adam that the anxiety was controlling him and causing most of his physical symptoms. I suggested as he wasn't actually ill so if he felt a bit wobbly when he got to school perhaps he could go to the library where he would feel normal and not get so behind in his work which was making him feel more anxious.
I was aware that Adam's father had died suddenly when he was 8. In session 2 Adam admitted that when he was at primary school he felt safe because his Mum lived close by but as soon as he went further from home to senior school he worried that something was going to happen to her if he wasn't with her. I explained about separation anxiety which Adam had read about. I did visualisation exercises with him to help him feel that his mum was in a safe place.
I taught him the physiology of anxiety and following that, relaxation exercises which he could practice himself to give him back some control in his life. He managed this without any problem.
To give him even more control I suggested he should try and manage school for half a day.
He stayed for the whole day because he felt it was his choice and was delighted with himself.
I saw Adam four times after which he was in full time school and not needing any pills for travel sickness. His mother said "it was like a miracle." When I asked Adam what was particularly helpful about the sessions he said "It was you believing in me. I kept hearing your voice saying you can do it."
