Symptoms and causesOne of the ways I help families is by identifying the underlying causes of difficult behaviour. Some examples are given below.
Young people often have outbursts of anger and stress which even they do not understand. Because they can give no reason for the behaviour it is often punished. They see this as unjust and become even angrier. Once the cause is found the feelings can be explored and managed. I can then give strategies for the whole family to deal with the situation.
Typical causes are:
School Refusal; Separation anxiety following the death of a parent. The child may be a victim of bullying.
Bullying behaviour; Parents are recently separated so there are unresolved issues. The child is being bullied by someone himself.
Angry Outbursts; Child is being bullied. Parents are divorcing. Sibling rivalry. Frustration often apparent when symptoms are undiagnosed as in the case of Aspergers syndrome or dyslexia.
Excessive Picking on Siblings; The child is being bullied. Sibling rivalry.
Weight Issues; Depression. Lack of confidence. Feeling of no control in life.
Aggression; Unexpressed emotional tension. Sometimes seen when both parents work long hours. Sibling rivalry. Divorce. Bereavement. Child is being bullied.
Poor sleep; Depression. Nightmares following a recently watched horror movie or TV programme. Emotional turmoil.
Self harm; Unexpressed emotions. Very low self esteem, depression.
Fussy with clothes; Unexpressed emotional conflict. Child is in a situation over which he feels has no control so exerts it over clothes
Unmotivated; Often due to issues connected with family break up. The child is angry confused and upset. Victim of bullying which is unresolved.
Disobedient. A child is often not just being naughty. There is often an underlying cause for constant disobedience. A child may be trying to exercise some control in a situation where he feels he has none.